Thursday, March 17, 2011

Forgetful Mummy vs Mean Mummy

Where do I start? As mothers, well parents, we take on many roles to help shape our children, to protect them, prepare them, love and nurture them. Quite often our best intentions aren't really received by our darlings with open arms, but we push on anyway. Now, there are a couple of things that have happened over the last few days that brought me to the title above!
Ok so the main story around forgetful mummy is also in a way a mean mummy story, but more in the sense that it's how I felt when it happened. As mentioned in an earlier post my Sister in law and niece are leaving Australia on Monday to move to England where Clare is from. What I haven't mentioned is that they were planning on leaving in February, but due to some paperwork issues they had to reschedule. I like to give my boys some notice about these types of big events so they have a chance to process what's happening and ask questions etc. Early December the boys father, Shane, (one of 4 boys) well his eldest brother moved with his wife and 2 children to Cairns. It was a move that we'd known was coming for a while and so I wanted to also keep the two things seperate, then get through Christmas without too much stress or worry. The boys and I had a trip planned to Coffs Harbour just after Christmas to spend time with my parents, and my brothers family. In my head I'd decided I'd break the news about Clare and Norahs' move whilst we were there. Well that didn't happen as I changed my mind when their plans were rescheduled. So let's skip forward to yesterday, yep March and less than a week till they leave... Whilst talking to Clare on the phone and planning to meet up with them at Sydney airport, I told Conner he wouldn't be at school Monday so that we could see Aunty Clare and Bubby Norah (this is what the boys & I have called Norah since birth!) Well the lightbulb went on and the bells started ringing as Conners face dropped and it hit me I'd completely forgotten to prepare and tell my boys. So we had a very teary afternoon and I honestly felt so bad.
My mean mummy role at the present time (it actually feels like I play this role often, but I know really I don't) is based around trying to figure out if Conner is actually unwell enough with the ear infection, to warrent numerous trips to school sick bay then home yesterday and today. Or is it more a case of the boy who cried wolf and knows he's got a good excuse to leave the classroom. A bit of background to why I question this scenario. Recently Conner has had a few incidents at school and his reasoning behind why he did them was 'because it got me not having to do schoolwork that's boring' Conner is and always has been quite clever when it comes to finding a way out of something, or finding a way to try and get what he wants. One such incident actually had Conner having to clean the boys toilet floors (The principal sought my permission first and gave him the proper PPE to wear as well as supervised the process) The day after the incident I spoke with the principal and told her what he excuse/ reasoning Conner had given me for his behaviour, to which her response was 'I did find it strange he was so enthusiastic about cleaning it up, most kids would have been reluctant and really not too happy yet Conner actually seemed to enjoy it, and I must say he did a wonderful job' My solution to him seeing being sent to the principal as a way out school work, was to arrange with her if in future Conner is sent there, work will be waiting for him to do! Score 1 Mummy :-)
Now Saturday night the pains in his ear started and we had a restless night, to the Dr Sunday confirmed ear infection, antibiotics started. Sunday night still not good, Monday home from school resting (and some brotherly fighting... umm brotherly love yes that's what I meant!) Took self to bed at 630pm slept right through till 7am Tuesday morning. Says 'yep I'm right for school' off he goes, I take Jaidan to preschool and make my way to Sars' for some scrapbooking and to catch up. Just as I'd predicted the school calls to say Conner is in sick bay, complaing of sore ear can you come get him, of course I go get him.
I explain he needs to just rest/ sleep or if up to it can do some homework, "No you are not watching cartoons or playing, you are sick and had to come home" ... "But resting is boring" yes i guess it can be for a 6yr old, us parents love it when we get it!! It wasn't long before I got a text from Sar to say her son too had to come home - sore belly- i tell Conner to which he says ' yeah I know he told me he was, so umm can we go over there for a playdate now?" Like I said, He will find or at least attempt a way to get what he wants! Of course the answer was a rather clear No.
Skip through till Wednesday, fine to go to school, been there an hour and a half, I get fiirst phone call, explain I can't come till at least midday as I was in mediation with his dad. No probs, can I call and see how things are when I'm done. So I do that, no worries he's been taken back to watch class do sport and eat lunch with them then hopefully participate in his work... I go meet Sar for walk and coffee... on the walk they call again, can I come in to see him. In the end I go get him to take him to see Dr again (Oh did I mention the biggest smiles to greet me and the running from office to his classroom) we now have eardrops to speed up recovery and one cranky mummy trying to work out what really is going on.
As I sat in the Drs waiting area and hearing the well known soapie line 'like sands through the hourglass..." it occurred to me how when I was younger and home ill from school I absolutely LOVED watching Days of our Lives and Young & the Restless. Have I been too hard on Conner not letting him watch cartoons the last two days, does the mean mummy need to back down a little? I'm hopeful Thursday will be a full day with nil phonecalls from the school, nil trips to sick bay or Drs & provide a little time out for this stressed Mummy to get her scrap on with San.

Take Care
Nat xx

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